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When shame shows up, you don't need to fix it. You need to hold it. This practice will guide you through gently.
You will need a small pebble or stone to hold during this practice. Take a moment to find one before you begin.
It may help to know who you would turn to — a friend, a family member, someone you trust — if this practice brings up difficult feelings.
Nothing you write is saved, so please don't navigate away or close this tab until you've viewed or downloaded your results — doing so will lose your progress.
Please note: this is a self-guided reflective practice — it is not therapy or treatment, and is not a substitute for professional therapeutic support. Please do not use it if you are in crisis, experiencing acute distress, or feeling unsafe.
Davina Robertson MA · © 2026 · Belonging to Myself
Notice your feet on the floor — just resting there.
Your sit bones on the chair, the steady solid contact between your body and what holds it.
Your back against the chair. Your hands in your lap. Your arms resting.
The rocks and granite beneath the ground are supporting you right now. Let them. You don't have to hold yourself up alone.
Follow the circle. Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly.
Feel the breath.
In...hold...out slowly...pause…
Continue for ten breaths. You might choose to close your eyes.
Choose something small or manageable — a situation, a past experience, something that triggers a familiar sting. Do not choose the most challenging thing here. You are just practising. You can always stop and return to your breath and your grounding.
If bigger things come into your mind — just gently tell them, Not now.
Shame tells you there is something wrong with you that needs to be different in order that you can belong.
This is simply not true.
It's been trying to protect you — to warn you.
Unnecessarily.
When something has come to mind, take a breath or two and continue when you are ready.
Stay with the sensations.
Don't try to push shame away or talk yourself out of it. Don't analyse it.
Just stay. Feel the sensations in your body. Let them be exactly what they are.
You might notice an urge to escape — to move away, to think, to fix something. That's okay. Notice the urge, and return to noticing.
Staying here. That's the whole practice.
What are you noticing right now?
Now we are going to explore where the shame is showing up in your body. It might be in one place, or more than one, or it might move around — or be an all-over feeling.
As you find a place or places, take a breath — as if to give the feeling space to speak. And as you breathe out, just allow the feeling to be there.
Any heat, flushing, or tightness here? A clenched jaw, perhaps?
Select any that apply or describe what you notice here
Any constriction, held breath, or heaviness sitting here?
Select any that apply or describe what you notice here
Any clenching, sinking, or churning here?
Select any that apply or describe what you notice here
Any weight, bracing, or a sense of folding inwards?
Select any that apply or describe what you notice here
Hands, legs, feet — anything else holding something right now?
Select any that apply or describe what you notice here
Sometimes shame moves through the whole body at once. Any of these?
Select any that apply or describe what you notice here
If not much or even nothing stood out — that's okay. That's allowed.
Anything else you want to add? Maybe something has changed during this process.
Find a pebble or a small stone to hold to represent the shame. Or just visualise it there in your open hand. Now enclose it in the warmth of your two hands. Allow the warmth of your hands to soften into the stone.
Just breathe.
After the three breaths, place the stone down with care.
Look at it. Just sitting there.
Choose a phrase to speak to the shame:
Place one hand on your heart.
Keep breathing.
Allow your heart to soften towards yourself. Just because you're here, feeling this. And that deserves gentleness.
When you hold shame with compassion instead of fighting it, it loses its power to convince you that you're bad.
You're not bad. You're feeling bad. And that feeling can always be held with love and with self-compassion.
"Hello shame. I see you."
When you notice any of these feelings coming up — take a breath · give the feeling space · offer the shame your compassion.